I Think He Gave Up Soda?

First, a little back story. To save money on gas and to enjoy my lunch hour a little bit more I've taken to packing myself a lunch, eating it while working and then I take a 45 minute walk. On special days I walk to Starbucks, get an iced coffee and sit outside in the sun and listen to music. Today I was stressed and restless and it wasn't sunny or warm, so I went for a walk to Meijers with my coffee instead. That's when I witnessed one of the strangest events I have ever seen.

Please, someone, explain this to me.


If you were to look very closely you can see 2 cardboard boxes under the car. The boxes and this man-made pond are all evidence of this man's strange deed. No, the puddle is not anything vile or disgusting. In fact, it's everyone's favorite soft drink:
36-48 cans of it. I sipped on my drink and watched this young gentleman kneel next to his car and empty each and every can, 2 at a time, onto the blacktop next to his car.

He had already drained the first two 12-packs when I happened upon him. This is where I am unsure if he emptied a total of 3 or 4 12-packs, but I watched him open up the next case and begin his process anew.

Using both hands he would take out two cans, pop open both cans, flip them upside down and return to the case. After setting up two cans to drain the previous two would be empty so he would shake them out and toss them into the cart. All the while he seemed paranoid.

I don't know if I watched him do 12 or 24 more cans; I was mesmerized. I wanted to take some video, but I wasn't man enough to so openly confront this madman. So, like some second-rate war journalist, I snapped my shots after he began weaving some paranoid path to the far end of the lot to the other entrance of the Meijers.

I may never know why he was so skiddish while emptying the cans or why he felt the need to zigzag across the lot to the other entrance.

I did check in on him at the bottle return inside. He was in-and-out rather quickly. When I finished my errand I made sure to walk by his parking space. He was gone, the Dew had evaporated/drained into the sewer and all that remained was a single crushed box that I saw get run over by a red F-150.